My Little Bird of Hope?

Have you ever had those weeks that you are swallowed by your own self pity?  Days where you just want to get in the car and travel some where different?  Be someone different? Feeling lost and hopeless? Well, you might have guessed that I am in one of those weeks. My life has gone through huge changes recently.  I have tried to "reboot myself" several times without any success. Hope for some kind of normal!
I  believe Hope is always present, you just have to give it time to reveal itself.  Recently Hope flew right by me and hit me on the head in the form of a bird. This little bird who had found its night time lodging underneath my backdoor awning.  Every night when the cold winds blew there it was huddled in corner of the awning.  At first, it flew immediately away when I came home. I think it knew the dog was next to exit the house. But as soon as I shut off the outside light and closed the door, it returned to its post.  Sleepless and lonely nights, I would look out the door, and there it would be. Hope that I wasn't alone.  
I love animals.  Maybe that is why hope seems to reveal itself in a form of an animal for me.  For years, I associated rabbits with my father, who has since past away.  I don't know why rabbits.  Maybe it is because one of my favorite books is "Watership Down" or the fact that when I was growing up we had rabbits in the back yard. The first year after my dad's death was the hardest sinced I missed him terribly.  That was the year I saw many rabbits.  I would stare out the window and see a rabbit sitting there, looking at me. The stare was familiar and sweet, just like my dad's was.  I hoped and wanted to believe that rabbits were my dad because that meant he was now healthy and happy.

And now this bird has come to visit me.   I am not sure if it female or male.  But the bird is unafraid when I enter and exit the house.  I even leave a piece of bread here and there. This little bird is my new sign of hope. May spring bring you a rabbit or bird for hope when you need it the most!

"March"ing On.

Hello.  It has been awhile.  Thirty days to be exact.  I was planning to post on another subject for my return post, but I received a phone call today.  My sister n law's father painful life ended this morning. My kindred spirit and thoughts went to her, her mother and brother.  I know that this day would be one of her worst days of her 42 years.  And as the day ticked into the night, I thought more about her and about the month of March.  It hit me that her father's death marked the seventh death in March which I had a personal connection to.
In the beginning of March,  it had been one year since my dear friend not only lost her father, but also her grandmother with in two day of each other.   March 5th was the day I lost a childhood friend to AIDS twenty-two years ago.  On March 24th, it will be nine years since my own father past away.  March 28th will be sixteen years since my great aunt past away. And ending the month, on March 29th, eleven years ago, my uncle past away. Each one of these people had indirectly or directly touched my life.
March has given me and example of how we are forced to move on.  Even on those days where something so painful as losing someone you love will force you to "reboot" yourself time after time.  Pushed to eventually "March" on.  It doesn't mean that the memory of them is no longer there.  I recall the memory of each person as if it were yesterday.   Take it from me, Don't be afraid to "reboot" as many times as needed and always remember to "March"on!